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It seems to me this country has fallen into a giant realm of stupidity… mixed with the insane belief that everyone is entitled to something. One of the most common genres of people I have noticed this amongst… happen to be the people who serve your food. The wait staff of America is falling apart. Customer service is so rare that when we have good service, we’re so friggin impressed we can’t stop talking about it…really? We’re blown away when people do their jobs the right way now? WTF? We’re actually happy now when our food makes it to the table…and we’ve only had to make a few light-hearted reminders to the dingbat bringing our food that they forgot “said item” for the second or third time.

Let’s face it, nearly everyone has at one point or another waited tables. It’s not easy work. You’re on your feet all day, people are needy, and you actually are multi-tasking like a crazy person for 4-8 hours while you work…. nonstop. This means NOT EVERYONE CAN DO IT. Why restaurants feel it necessary to hire JUST ANYONE is beyond me. With the unemployment rate as high as it is, there must be some competent unemployed people out there that need a job and can multitask.

Let me now address the crappy wait staff currently employed EVERYWHERE…. your feeling of entitlement towards a good tip… it’s bogus. I don’t owe you anything.

You’re being compensated already by the company you work for with a meager 3 dollars an hour to;
throw my food on the table
forget to refill my drink
bring me napkins 30 minutes into my basket of wings
ketchup 15 minutes after my burger is on the table
a side of ranch dressing 10 minutes after my salad
deliver my appetizer with my meal
and heaven fucking forbid after all of this… you will dumbly ask… is everything okay? How is everything? With that clueless retarded half assed smile you’ll fake in a pathetic attempt to rejuvenate your tip.

Nope, your 3  dollars an hour seems more than sufficient as far as this table is concerned.

I do not feel the need to confuse you for a second longer by letting you believe that you somehow did me any kind of service in that feeble attempt at waiting.

YOU are a WAITER…. YOU are supposed to be concerned with my beck and call… and as needy as that makes me sound… stop for a second and consider the facts…. I am out to eat. I’m not in my own kitchen…. I cannot get up and get my own drink/ketchup/ranch dressing/napkins…. so stop making me feel like I am putting you OUT…. when these are all things I have already asked you for, because I knew you were definitely not bright enough to bring them from the get go.

A good waiter/ress never interrupts the table conversation….

Don’t ask if I want my drink refilled… Is the glass half empty? Refill the damn thing.
Am I eating ribs? Lets assume I will need more than the napkin tied around my silverware to get me through the meal… again… no need to ask.
Did I order a salad with ranch dressing? Is the salad still sitting on the table without it when you walk by? You should be noticing… there’s obviously a salad there that I am not eating… do the math… and hurry back… no need to ask me if I still need the dressing. DUH.

I’m tired of feeling exhausted by stupidity of waiters and waitresses… and if you’re reading these and feeling offended… the you should probably go put in your two-week notice and find another career choice….

Ever get to the end of your night and wonder why you’ve only made 36 bucks in tips and you work at a 15 dollar a plate restaurant? Because you’re not a good waiter. End. Of. Story.

If you’re the consumer… remember… you are the one paying for the food…. it is costing you good, hard-earned money…. don’t let them guilt you into a tip… you’re not obligated. You don’t owe them. Your tip is for them doing you a service…. if you’re completely neglected… it should be very much reflected in your lack of desire to reward them for bad service.

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