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Mom… Dad… don’t read this one… k? Thanks.

I know you’re still reading… you’ve been warned.Β 

So I am at the gym today… and I haven’t been in a while, probably mmmmm a month. three months…. when it dawned on me… cardio work outs are like sex in many ways.

One, when I just went to tell you how long it had been since I had been there… first instinct was to lie. You know when people haven’t had sex in 6 months… they don’t say 6 months.

Secondly, if you haven’t been to the gym in a long time… it doesn’t take very long before your body is finished doing anything. If you haven’t had sex in a long time…. you’re probably not going to make it through this song. Or commercial. Or sentence. Just saying.

As I was working out, I was pondering this topic and its similarities as I was trying desperately not to fly off backwards from the treadmill. That could also happen during sex. Weird.

Since I was working cardio, I warmed up with a mile on the treadmill which was very enjoyable. I ran at a slow steady pace… about a 13 minute mile. Not too bad. I was feeling pretty impressed with myself since it had been sooooo long.

I hopped down, went and got some water and jumped on the bike. Set it for cardio and I was off. But cardio is a tricky bastard.

You set a time for how long you want to ride…. then when you hit the half way point, that’s normally when you hit your target heart rate… let’s call this climax shall we…. target heart rate means… I am all done with this.

The problem here is you still have half the time to go…. kind of similar to beating your partner to the punch… yet you know they’re not far off… you can’t slow down…can’t stop… but you’re already good…. Dear God. I’m exhausted.

At this point you have to push yourself through the mental anguish that your body is enduring in order to get to the end goal where everyone is feeling as good you were a few minutes ago when you hit that, “target heart rate”.

Two minutes after you hit that heart rate… you’re going to hate your life…. your partner… this god forsaken gym… yet you don’t stop. Everything inside you feels like it’s going to shut down forever……. then it finally happens… cool down. Everyone wins.

No longer trying to hold your target heart rate the machine nearly loses all tension and your body feels an easy freedom flowing over your sweat drenched body in an excited moment of completion. You have a dumb smile on your face. πŸ˜‰

My music choices today may have been what made me relate this experience to sex… see if you agree.

I started my run to Nadia Ali… Crash and Burn, she’s going to turn you on and get you excited. She sets the nice steady constant pace…

I finished my run to BeyoncΓ©’s Sweet Dreams, which is a follow-up great beat that keeps your pace steady and mind floating.

When I got on the bike… I was feeling like a million bucks and off to a great pace with Rihanna’s S&M…

When I hit my target heart rate, I had settled back into the appropriate zone, which may have added a few of these random thoughts into my head… I hit target with John Mellencamp’s Hurt so Good.

After that though, I was drained… I wanted off the bike… so I knew I had to step the music up several notches…. the music that pulled me through at this point and kept me going was Nickelback’s Something in Your Mouth.

Followed by Buckcherry’s Next to You….

However my next song… is proof that I had officially lost interest in it all and was just telling it how it was….

Yep… Cee Lo Green…

After that I was beat… luckily I hit my cool down period… in which I cooled down to some good ol…. Black Keys…

So there you have it… how cardio work outs are similar to sex… and the music that drove me to make this decision. πŸ™‚