, ,

1. Turning around in my desk chair to realize someone has been standing in my cubicle for….? Who knows how damn long.

2. When people stick their head over my cubicle wall and ask, “Did you read that email I just sent you?”  Mother frigger, please…. it’s not even in my inbox yet. Yes. You’re faster than email. We’re all impressed.

3. Women that wear flip-flops to work. I don’t care how many rhinestones you bedazzle on your shoes, or how much you paid for them, flip-flops are not a business shoe.

4. It’s great that you bring your lunch to work. You’re sooooooo economically savvy and health conscientious, but really…. heating fish in the microwave makes me want to beat you to death.

5. Bragging that you’ve been at the office since 6:30 am. No one cares. We’re salaried moron, why would you do that to yourself?

6. Elevator etiquette. No one has any. At. All.

7. Being called into a meeting that is two hours long solely for someone to ask me a last-minute question in the remaining 5 minutes of the meeting that I answer with a yes or no.

8. Super wrinkled clothing on men or women. No one in this building makes less than 35k a year. Buy an iron.

9. The guy that walks from cube to cube telling the same friggin story. We don’t have offices. We have cubes. I heard you the first 16 TIMES!!!

And last but not least…

10. The completely technically illiterate people. We don’t dig ditches, we work on computers all day long. How is it you honestly cannot change your font size in Power Point? How does that even happen???