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My parents are soooooo dumb! It's amazing they were capable of making someone as smart and beautiful as me!

My parents are soooooo dumb! It’s amazing they were capable of making someone as smart and beautiful as me!

When I was a teenager there was a running joke in the house. When one of the 3 of us children would sass my parents, or question what they were saying to us, my mom would look over at my dad and go, “Yea! You stupid old man!” and then they would laugh hysterically, in their own little world.   We got quite a laugh out of this as well, my brother, sister and I. We would look at each other, eyes rolling, laughing that mocking laugh in our secret sibling language where the one thing we did agree on was in fact… yes, they were stupid. Bwhaahahahaha! Stupid parents!

     I would stand there in the midst of all of my half-assed chores and ask my mom if I could go somewhere on Friday night. She would glance over at me, obviously wishing she was in Fiji, and tell me no… I could not go anywhere until my chores were through. I’d let out a heavy sigh, continue on my half ass/slacking of my chores and ask again. She wouldn’t check my chores. She would just tell me to wait until dad got home and ask him. Two hours later, the cycle would repeat, and then again with the “stupid old woman/stupid old man” bit and they would laugh at each other.

    I never really understood why they went through this routine, I just knew they found it really funny and it was the one “insult” that we could throw out that seemed to make our parents laugh instead of beating us with the belt grounding us all weekend.

    Three days ago, my sister and I took all of our children shopping for their Spring Break Trip to Florida. That’s 4 children total. She unfortunately has two beautiful little ones and you know about mine. As we are coming home from our hell-on-earth trip to Kohl’s, Hailey (12) says something sassy (funny, I cannot for the life of me remember what it is now) but she completely just slashes right into me. My sister looks over at me and says, “yea… stupid old woman!” and we both bust into hysterics.

   Then, as we are cracking up, it dawns on me… they were laughing at us! They were mocking us! Our parents…. those…. stupid…. old… people geniuses found a way to laugh at us when we would stomp our feet and claim our young worlds were on the verge of collapsing because we were not getting our way.  Wait a minute here! I look over at my sister,”They were laughing at us, weren’t they…” she trails off for a second and we’re both quiet.

When we finally look at each other again, we burst into laughter, all four of the kids quiet in the backseat, waiting to see the result of the stupid old woman comment she made a moment ago…. and when we laugh, they laugh… but it will be years before they know why.