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IMG_9890Last night I was out of the house for a few hours at my weekly pool league match. Things were going ok. Meaning they were not too bad compared to the last few Tuesdays I’ve had. As luck would have it, or karma, or whatever bitch is stalking my life this week…. my daughters refused to let it just be an ok night. The text messages start rolling:

Hailey: MOM… Can I stay the night at Abby’s house tonight so that we can get ready for the first day of school together tomorrow?

Me: NO.


Me: It’s the first day of school. It’s a MOM day.

Hailey: Ohhhh mmmyyyyyy gaaawwwdddddd mom. I ONLY HAVE THREE YEARS OF SCHOOL LEFT.

Me: And I’ve take a picture of you every single first day of school, every year… I have 3 left to take.

At this point the SHEER FUCKING PANIC HITS ME.  3 MORE???? I ONLY HAVE 3 MORE PICTURES TO TAKE???? I have already taken 10 first day of school pictures of her? Tears are welling up. My heart is racing.

Me: NOOOOOOOOO!!! You will be home! I have to take a picture.

Hailey: Sigh…. can’t you take it on the second day?

(I’m screaming internally now… in expletives and curly letters that I can’t even understand).

Me: No. Just no.

Hailey: Ugh. Fine.

Pictures of her this morning turn out…. as they always do on Hailey’s first day of school.


Then…. there’s Faith. SOOOOOOOOO…… Our texting starts last night. She’s in a great mood. Chelsi is twisting her hair in knots for her to sleep on so she has gorgeous curls this morning. She’s elated. Until:

Faith: Mom… can I ride to school with Madi tomorrow? Her mom has time to drive her to school.

(I’m instantly annoyed at all moms that have the ability to drive their kids to school, go to work, feed them, and get to sports practices on time… WTF am I doing wrong… I huff)

Me: No.

IMG_9905Faith: WHHHHYYYYYYYY???? They live in our neighborhood mom.

Me: Fine. But if Madi is sick and you miss the bus cause she isn’t going to school, then you’re walking.

Faith: God, Mom; Madi’s mom  would totally still take me to school.

I’ve lost the battle. Of courrrrssseeee she would.  My energy to keep arguing with the WHHHHYYYYY Monsters is gone.

Faith: By the way, your clothes are in the dryer, and it’s not drying them. I think it’s broken. Goodnight! I love you!

(kjgkhjahkljghkl REALLY???? Sigh. HEAVY SIGH. FUCKING UGGHHHH)


This morning I wake up and realize I didn’t check the dryer when I got home. Sooooo my clothes for work are still wet. Yay. I make sure the girls are up. They are, Faith is mid panic because her hair is curled tooooooo tightly and I must fix it immediately. Hailey is growling in  the bathroom we now share, and I am scared to enter.

Ahhhh, my sweet little dog, she looks like a safe someone to say good morning to first. I chance it. She doesn’t bite me. Small victory.

IMG_9893Time to try to get a few pictures of both girls together. This should go swimmingly.  Faith is immediately standing too close to Hailey, there’s hair being pulled. Anger. Death. Blood, blood, blood. Ugh. I might have taken one that didn’t suck before Hailey’s bus came, luckily. I was just about to use my moves learned from Kung Fu Panda.

Sometimes there just aren’t words for what is going on around you. You just gotta go, get in the car, turn on some Rage Against the Machines, or Jewel… whatever… you don’t know me. And let their day, be whatever it FullSizeRenderunfolds into today.

Somehow after all the expletives and crazy thoughts I had this morning, sitting at my desk, my brain is still wrapped around how their days are going, how their friends liked seeing them again, if anything crazy has changed… and I can’t wait to see them over dinner tonight. As they roll their eyes and look at me as if I am from another planet.

Cause I’m old. And… ugh… so… just…. blah MOM.