Your Conscience Conscious State

Tags

angry, conscience, conscious, exhausted, frustrated, it's my life too, tired of people, xanax or running shoes

Recently I used one of the above words wrong. But… once I had done said crime… I began really diving into the difference between my conscience and being conscious and the gray state of my brain where they run smack the fuck into each other in a kaleidoscope of WTF and red blood spatter.

I was kindly provided the definition of conscious when I misused the word, and the definition has been plaguing  the crap out of me for days.

Conscious: Aware of and responding to one’s surroundings. Awake. Having knowledge of something, aware. Mindful. Sensitive to.

Conscience: The part of the mind that makes you aware of your actions as being either morally right or wrong.

Funny… these words can and should be used together often. If you’re consciously making a decision then you are showing awareness… which means regardless of if what you are doing is right or wrong, you’re fucking doing it anyway. You consciously did that.

Anyway after my in depth correction (from a major pain in the ass whose own intelligence levels I am really starting to question) anyway, after being corrected, my brain could not drop the subject matter. I began debating with myself the context of what one consciously does and where the conscience falls into the mix.

What I came up with was:  I don’t care at all. I don’t care if your conscience is conscious currently.  Because it’s obviously not. Your intervention into all things related to me, is unwarranted, and  I’m done patty caking over it. Take your sweet, smothering, one sided opinions and consciously shove them back up your ass. Or swallow them. Or choke on them. My conscience does not care. My conscience is not concerned, or any longer conscious of your existence at all. Wow. I’m pretty sure I just used both words, right. A LOT.

 

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HGHS Homecoming RANT

Tags

alabama, angry, bad parenting, band, FOOTBALL, Hazel Green High School, homecoming, madison county, rant, school

I have had to give myself time to calm down before writing this blog. As proud of all our children, I was the other night, I was also fuming ANGRY. Physically shocked and angry.

Our marching band has been working on their half-time show since July. They put in 2 weeks of 10 hour days in 100 degree temperatures for summer band camp. They put in endless hours throughout the school week. They’re full of school spirit and support their football team; win or lose.

I’m not sure who planned the events of the Homecoming game. My daughter is a freshman, so this may be something they have done for all of history. BUT IT IS STUPID. Let me tell you what they do…

Football game starts.

Half-time arrives.

The visiting teams band does a full show. A complete performance.

Our band plays as our Homecoming Court is announced.

The second half of the football game is played. We win. YAY!

The stands empty. EMPTY.

The football team goes to the locker room. The cheerleaders go wherever it is cheerleaders go. All of their parents, grandparents, friends, school mates, all FILE OUT OF THE STADIUM…..

AS OUR BAND IS TAKING THE FIELD TO PERFORM THEIR “HALF-TIME” SHOW.

AT THE END OF THE GAME.

For NO ONE. Except their parents. The only people left in the stadium. Not only that, they have to begin playing AS PEOPLE ARE FILING ….. NO…. FLOODING OUT OF THE STADIUM.

WHAT IN THE HELL????

Why? Why would their school do that to them? Why would we watch the opposing teams band at half-time? Why do they get to perform for a full packed stadium of our fans? Why would the administration at Hazel Green High School not OPEN THE FOOTBALL GAME WITH THEIR BANDS PERFORMANCE?

WHY WOULD THEY NOT RECOGNIZE WHAT THESE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN WORKING ON? JUST AS HARD, JUST AS LONG…. as their football team.

Why would you as parents leave, when you can clearly see…. children… CHILDREN… taking the field… to perform? The band parents were all still there. They all sat and watched your kids play football… or cheer…. or be crowned Queen. We all watched that. But when it came time to see our children perform, you left. You stood up, in front of parents trying to watch the band perform. You had no respect for those students. Clearly the school doesn’t either. The planning of that was awful. It shows lack of concern for your whole band program, Hazel Green.

The football team wasn’t required to watch it and support their “school mates,” that just CHEERED and RALLIED for their for 2.5 hours. The cheerleaders were not required to hang out and watch. To applaud their fellow classmates.

You want unity in school? Then as a school, you have to make all of your extra curricular activities as valued as the next. A student good at the tuba, is just as awesome as a great quarterback.

I was awestruck that these students did not receive the AUDIENCE at their home game that they deserved. Why we would watch Ft Payne perform at our halftime is BEYOND me. Out of time? Why didn’t you open the game with the band. Something. Figure something else out. Because that… was awful. It was rude. It was embarrassing to watch. And as a BAND parent, it was completely UNACCEPTABLE.

The Complete Disrespect of Your Laziness

Tags

humor, kids, stealing, valentine's day

Recently at a trip to the grocery store we allowed each of our 3 kiddos to get something for their “significant other” at school in celebration of Valentine’s Day. That ended with Ryan finding something cute for his girlfriend, Hailey getting something to surprise her crush, and Faith getting a heart shaped basketball filled with chocolate for her best guy friend at school (she’s 10).

Once we got home, Faith deemed it necessary to write a note to her friend letting him know she was glad he was her friend (so that he wouldn’t think she liked him….blah blah blah….we all know they end up going to prom together 6 years from now, but anyway….). In doing so, she opened the chocolates to put the note inside. Then she closed the box and left them on her desk. The next day when she was getting ready to leave, she decided to check on the note just one last time, to make sure she wrote it correctly and it said all the things she was trying really hard to make sure she wasn’t saying (and yes, you read that right).

A chocolate was missing.

She freaked out. After a good review of her room, and her desk, and everywhere else… it was determined that it was either Hailey or Ryan that had taken the chocolate and eaten it. Or hid it. Or whatever. But here’s the problem with the “not me” ghost in our house. He’s lazy and messy.

Our kids put no effort into their lazy stealing of other people’s property. They’re no good at it. And quite honestly, at this rate they won’t even be busted by real cops for theft, it will be by the school resource officer that has jelly donut on his shirt.

Before you judge my lack of compassion or reason here… think back. When you were a teen and you wanted soda and your parents said no… did you just take the last one anyway and then say, “It wasn’t me?” HELLLL NO YOU DIDN’T!!! You secretly snuck one when there was 17 left in a 24 pack. Or you took the skinnest little slice of cake you could muster from the tray of untouchable desserts while your mom was cooking and high tailed it to the back yard to devour the one bite of cake you snuck. You drove 700 miles an hour to get home by curfew at 11, you didn’t walk in at 11:03 and go, “What??? I’m here.”

There is no glimpse of fear in your eyes when I say no, and 20 minutes later you do it anyway. I’ve read a lot of places that people believe it’s the style of discipline that has changed. That people used to be terrified of their parents kicking their asses. And yes, I was terrified of my parents kicking my ass… but thinking back… they never did. I may have been smacked here or there, but nothing to warrant the fear I had. Because maybe that fear was of disappointing them, not actually of them. Regardless, our kids have none. And I find it quite disrespectful for someone to steal a Valentine’s Day candy out of a box of chocolates that is a gift for someone else… from your little sister. Shameful. Tacky. Tasteless. So I am calling you out on it, you “NOT ME” Ghost in our house. And you better hope, you can vanish quickly when I find you out. And I will.

Divorce Destroyed the Security of the World

Tags

bad parenting, divorce, kids coping with divorce, PARENTING, step parenting, teenagers

Spoiled rotten little American kids, they whine, complain, and stomp their feet to get what they want. I’ve figured out what has happened. I am about to give you all the answers. People keep saying generations keep going softer, and softer, and softer. But what’s different? What has happened?

Divorce. Divorce is what is destroying the people of our country. Okay, now hear me out, because I know you are all rolling your eyes.

60 years ago, the divorce rate was practically non-existent. However, in the time since, it’s gone to nearly 3 out of every 4 marriages will end in divorce. Those statistics are enough to make most, not even want to bother. Now how is this affecting the country?

Well, when couples divorce there are many things that happen after that point:
1. Kids lose their tiers of stability and become untrusting of long-term things.
2. Kids develop pent-up aggression that they do not know how to relieve themselves of.
3. Parents remarry, possibly into relationships where other kids are present.
4. Now kids have step siblings that they are supposed to act like blood relatives towards, that they aren’t.
5. Kids hierarchy structures are changed, oldest kids can become the youngest, or a middle child at random casting.
6. Parents weaken their discipline practices because they cannot understand the contempt and hatred in their childs face.
7. Parents have a hard time disciplining other people’s children, either punishing them to extremes, or not at all.
8. These kids grow up, untrusting of relationships, go through their own divorces and the cycle repeats.
9. Parents, regardless of what they say or try to believe, will never be able to love all the kids equally.
10. Kids have learned to cope in this situation by manipulating parents feelings of guilt.

The family structure has been destroyed. There is no longer Christmas at Grandma’s house with your entire family… families now have 2, 3, sometimes 4 different Christmases. Kids have multiple birthdays, so they can celebrate with all of their removed family. They get whatever is on their list, because their parents fight over trying to provide the best presents so that they can feel a little less guilty about destroying their child’s faith in….well faith in just about everything.

People have become to used to losing in-laws. People are no longer attached, to their people anymore. If you aren’t happy, you can just leave. If you don’t like these people, you can just find new people. They walk away. They quit. They give up. Give in. Don’t give at all.

I’ve done this. I walked away. Now I’ve been in a relationship for 8 years that includes step children for me. I’ve watched my own parents divorce, and realized that even at 32 years old, you’re still ever the child when it comes to what is happening between parents. You think you know, you think you understand things. But the truth is, the melt down of the country is starting inside every home on every cul-de-sac in the U.S.A.

Wore Out with the Race Card

Tags

government, Paula Deen, prom, race card, RACISM, racist, religion, voting

They keep telling us we are a racist country. They keep throwing it out there at Paula Deen. At the right side. At whoever happens to be standing around really. Problem is, who are they? Who keeps playing the race card? And why in 2013 does it seem like it always comes back to a black vs. white issue? The United States is covered in all colors, genders, and religions. Are there still people who think they are above others? Sure. Everyone has a certain amount of racism in them, they can deny it to the moon if they want to, but it’s true. It’s what you do with your preconceived notions and stereotypes that matter.

Truth is, as long as the government keeps asking us what race we are, what gender we are, and what we believe in… it will continue to divide us. Don’t feel like all races get equal voting rights? (I’m sure our deployed men and women in uniform can definitely relate, you don’t see them saying their being discriminated against…but I digress). Voting locations should be solely based on an area’s population total (regardless of race). If you live in the middle of nowhere Alabama, you may have to drive 20 minutes to a polling location. I’m sorry, is that an inconvenience? This freedom that you maintain where you have the ability to choose the leader of our country?

I digress. Again. Because this could easily tangent and spider off in a thousand directions. Let’s get back to Paula Deen. In 2007 she had an idea for an old school Southern Wedding, complete with black servers at the wedding in white tuxedos. This is racist. Apparently. If she were shooting a movie, would it then be okay to accurately reflect old school southern ways? Do you think she was going to pay them to work the wedding? Or do you think maybe she enslaved them for the weekend? Held them against their will? Was she planning to talk down to them then entire weekend and tell them to only respond with, “yes, massa?”

I really don’t think so.

You want to talk about race problems, let’s talk the school in Georgia that still has black and white proms, and who knows where the Asian kids are supposed to go on prom night. That’s right, that is a SCHOOL. Who runs our school systems? The government. The same people so adamantly trying to destroy any single person that says something that could be twisted into negative racist remarks. They’re still segregating kids in schools.

Let’s talk about how they’ve allowed Muslims to pray in inner city Washington D.C. schools, after abolishing prayer in school time and time again for the Christian kids, the Jewish kids, the Catholic kids, the Mormon kids.

They are the one’s that want us to stand apart from each other and point fingers into the crowd, instead of back into their own faces. America is the biggest melting pot of people on Earth. Are there going to be people who don’t get along? Yes. Does that mean racism is like a cancer on our society? Our government would like for us to think so.

What do you think?